When negative emotions come up, our tendency is to resist them. We fight them tooth and nail, resulting in feelings of anxiety, worry, anger, and a host of other feelings. We distract ourselves with a number of coping mechanisms such as, shopping, drugs, work, alcohol, etc. This only makes things worse.
Feeling the feelings, however, is the true way out; the way that will bring us peace.
Next time an emotion shows up, sit down in a quiet place. Let it come in. Where are you feeling it? Sit with it. Don’t get up to eat, order something on EBay, or have a drink. Sit with it. And let it pass. More than likely you’ll feel it in waves. The feelings will come, go, come back. Eventually, however, they will just be gone.
Think about all the feelings you’ve ever had. Do you still have them? Look back as far as you can go. What happened to the feelings you had in high school? College? When you were married to your Ex? I’m sure you’ve moved on to new feelings.
This takes work, so practice. You know what they say, it makes perfect.
Submitted by Rossana Snee, MFT. Follow her on Twitter @askjoshsmom, Periscope.com, and https://www.facebook.com/askjoshsmom. She is available in a therapeutic capacity, and also for speaking engagements.